MuhPress

Fall in Michigan is awesome. Northern Michigan, even better. Not only do most of the old people leave, but everything smells like awesome and the trees look like this:

I wish the old people would take all the assholes and idiot drivers with them to Florida or wherever. On the other hand, boxing assholes in between semitrucks when they try to pass everybody on the right really helps make the trip less boring. There was one guy that kept trying to pass me and this minivan. The minivan driver (who turned out to be a cop, judging by his uniform when he passed me) played his role perfectly and would speed up to keep the asshole from cutting in behind me. After a few tries the jerk that kept trying to pass everybody on the right pulled off at a rest stop. Maybe he crapped his pants.

I always thought that those flower child-type people were supposed to be peace loving and all that.  If that’s so, then I want to know why every one of them I meet seems a wee bit violent.

Very near to where I live is the waterloo / Pinckney State park.  It’s something over 30,000 acres of trails and trees and swamps and all kinds of stuff.  Last night there was a meeting with the Dept. of Natural Resources on the future of the area and a chance for people who give a shit to speak out about what they would like to see happen.  This area is used for all sorts of stuff- mountain biking, horse-back riding, hiking, hunting, boating, nature-watching, etc.  Sadly, some of these things ‘ruin it’ for the other things.  For example, horses generally ruin the trails because their hooves churn up the dirt and they poop everywhere.  And most people don’t like hiking through the forest when a bunch of trigger-happy drunken men holding shotguns are sitting all over.  For this reason, I figured it would be an interesting time.

There was this stereotypical older lady there who obviously grew up in the hippie days.  I could tell she was going to be the problem of the night the minute she stood up to introduce herself at the beginning of the meeting- she had barely said her name when she started talking about “armies of mountain bikers ruining her meditation.”  You know it’s going to be good when the fucking moderator has to cut a person off during the introduction part of the meeting.

Sure enough, later in the night somebody asked if more hunting areas could be opened up since he felt that hunters were fairly transparent as far as the land goes.  This lady flipped out and just started yelling “ARE YOU SERIOUS? ARE YOU SERIOUS? ARE YOUR SERIOUS? ARE YOU SERIOUS?” over and over.  I felt bad for the moderator; he must have felt like he was babysitting some kids.

Overall, I think it went fairly well.  The DNR guys seemed to like my ideas and I felt like I actually may have made a difference.

Who the hell meditates on a trail anyway?  Seems like you would go into the middle of the forest for that, where people don’t travel much.

I watched Shoot’Em Up over the weekend. I give it the Craiggers stamp of approval. (.)(.)

I figured I would write an Andy-style review since he hasn’t yet. I would say that the below contains spoilers, except I don’t believe it’s possible to spoil this movie.

Shoot’Em Up: The modern-day Popeye.
Bum: *carrot*
Thug: I’m gonna kill you, pregnant bitch! *Thug stares at the bum and cocks a pistol, just to be sure that the bum understands he’s going to kill that pregnant bitch*
Bum: RAWR carrot powers.
Thug: Oh god, carrots, my only weakness! *dies*
Bum: Oooo, a gun. Those are even better than carrots. *Proceeds to kill lots of people with his new gun.* Hey thugs! Only come one at a time because I have to deliver this baby!
Baby: rawr.
Bum: Fuck, I hate umbilical cords. *BLAM*
Some Fat Guy: Hey, I’m obviously the boss, because I am a fat guy in a suit and have a high-tech gun. Oh and I hate babies.
Bum: Hey ex-preggers bitch, if you’re going to be my love interest later on we need to- oh shit, you’re already dead. Oh well, time to run. Oops, better grab the baby to ensure an endless supply of bad guys to carrot. I should probably feed this thing. I could go buy some baby food for a few bucks, but instead I will offer a lactating whore five grand (and a chance to be my love interest) to take care of it for a day.

Repeat this scene until we run out of film:

Bum: I will hide here with my smelly-headed baby.
Fat Guy with high-tech gun: Rawr I’ve found you again because I am so smart. Here, kill these new henchmen for me.
Bum: OK. *carrot*

Wordpress came with a pretty advanced anti-spam thing that I’m still getting used to.  I say this because I just accidentally marked a comment as spam and deleted it.  Sorry Gamera… you’re not spam.  I would just turn it off, but my tiny little site is actually getting spam already.  I suppose that is what happens when you go with something like WordPress.

I was looking forward to playing Team Fortress 2 while sitting at work and later, while sitting in class.  Sadly, it was not released yet.  I don’t know what timezone Valve operates in, but it’s surely not one that any sane person would prescribe to.  Steam is like a retarded baby that sits on your desktop and wails its ineffectual arms in your face.  Every once in awhile it’ll be like “Hey!  Andy is playing Pyschonaughts!”  Why it thinks I want to know this is beyond me.  They give you the option of pre-downloading the game before release- one would assume this is so you can play the game immediately upon release, without having to waste time trying to download it from overworked servers.  However, it downloads the pre-load data in some kind of encrypted form that, in my experiences, takes twice as long to decrypt as it did to download.  What the hell, Steam.  These aren’t government secrets we’re dealing with- it’s a game I fucking paid for.  You don’t need to encrypt them using a billion-bit rotational cypher based off the movement of excited helium atoms.

I just had a thought- I bet the people that downloaded it from a torrent site were playing it last night.

I used to be awesome in math.  That all changed when I didn’t take a math class for nearly 5 years.  I feel so totally lost; it sucks.

Anyway, I think I’ll keep this wordpress thing around for awhile.  Having a way to login and write posts sure beats having to write SQL code to insert my blatherings directly into the database.  That will encourage me to post more… for about a week, if history does indeed repeat itself.

Well, I thought I’d try out this new-fangled word press thingy that all the kids are raving about this days. It may go away, I don’t know. But hey, it’s better than a blank 404 page I guess.